in learning how to write again
People didn’t lie, writing your second book is HARD.
It’s relearning how to be with your own thoughts, how to know what you want to write in the first place, and how to make peace with a first draft.
I have more books coming (I know, I can’t believe it). My next YA romance, SWEET HEAT, is slated for next summer and features two young chefs vying for the top chef title on a reality TV cooking show. My 2027 book is a cheerleader/popular girl trying to get back at her ex-boyfriend by befriending his new girlfriend… and something happens between the girls.
I’m so excited about these books, and I hope you are too!
In all the joys of releasing my debut last year, I’ve also been experience the unexpected melancholy that came with it—the anxieties in measuring my performance, the what ifs and the what now?
Since releasing A Banh Mi for Two, I’ve written several first drafts for new projects and went through the rollercoaster of emotions that’s pretty much this image below:
I’d fall in love with the chapter then would tear it apart the next day. Kill off some darlings. Contemplate my talent as a writer. Feel somewhat proud of myself for publishing a book already. Revel in the inevitable dread of existence and everything that is going on. Rinse and repeat.
It’s frustrating, annoying, and there are some days when I’d question if these books would ever see the light of day (if I would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel). To be completely transparent, I still have a day job. Balancing both corporate America and writing/publishing is an art I’ve yet to master (and I wonder every day if I should go to grad school, like every 20-something in these trying times). I realized how burnt out I am, how all my creative juices have been in a funk and if I really want to keep doing all of this. I yearn for the bursts of energy I had during undergrad, writing in between classes and working well past midnight. That’s no longer my reality though. My hobbies include watching (and rotting) reality TV, napping with my cats, and taking up baking. I’m squeezing in moments of life while working my 9-5. I’m wrestling with writing and reading and everything that has to do with words.
The first step in learning how to write was reading, and more specifically, reading everything I love. I devoured romance books (anything Ali Hazelwood), absorbed craft and prose from Olivie Blake, reread my English classes assigned readings, dwelled into fantasy and horror, and gave myself grace to not write. I’ve realized I can’t be a Super Mysterious And Super Cool Author Who Scribbles On Notepads Everyday—because that’s just not sustainable for me!
Drafting has always been difficult for me. In a sense, I think I have anxiety in executing. I have all these grand ideas but something always holds back me from getting it on the page. Maybe it’s the anxiety in not knowing if I’m making any sense. Maybe it’s the harsh inner critic. Maybe it’s the need to do well—to not have to see a “great concept! could have been executed better” review. It’s also utterly dreadful knowing someone will be reading the first draft. I know, I know, everyone says your first draft can be ugly, but it can’t be too ugly because I’m (very fortunately) contracted and on deadline.
Still, I had to overcome all this noise from drafting or else I’d just… not write. I learned to embrace the messiness, the failing around, the stumbling blind as I make up words from the alphabet. It’s hard. There are some days when I’d reread what I had wrote and feel extreme embarrassment by the grammatical errors. But most days, I feel relief that I wrote something. It’s a privilege to be doing this, and this reframing of writing has been the sobering reality I needed. I am so, so lucky to get to write (and get paid!) the fictional worlds in my head.
I wish I have writing advice on how to keep going but truthfully, I don’t. My secret has been to keep going one day at a time. I’m looking at craft books, advice, trying out sticky notes and buying new notebooks, finally broke into my Kindle Scribe (that I won from an event), and doing everything I can to Feel Like An Author. Admittedly, it’s fun to discover what sticks.
I’m in the middle of two (!!) revisions right now. I’m revising my next young adult romance releasing next year and another special project that’s a departure from young adult contemporary. They’re my indulgent books as I stitch in all my favorite micro tropes and inspiration. Drafting these two books were very much like pulling teeth, but as soon as I finished the drafts and took a step back… I felt good. That sense of relief was instant, despite how horrendous the drafts were. I know these moments I had are probably relatable, and to be fair I’ve been warned about the anxiety and dread after debut year, but I didn’t know until I knew.
Besides drafting, I’ve had the opportunity to keep talking about A Banh Mi for Two at conferences and on podcasts and interviews. It’s bewildering to me how this little book of mine is still reaching people. It’s still on shelves at major retailers. I’m still getting tagged on social media. I’ve yet to fade into oblivion!
A Banh Mi for Two is also a 2024 Freeman Book Awards Honoree in Young Adult/High School Literature! Does this mean I get to call myself an award winning author?
For upcoming events, see below!
LA Times Festival of Books - 4/27 at 12:30pm What a Girl Wants: Romance in Young Adult Fiction - Tickets Required
I also need to bounce around LA and sneakily sign more stock—I’ll let you know where signed copies end up!
Thank you for reading, and for supporting me. A LOT of you are new subscribers (and it’s totally on me for not posting these newsletters as frequently as I’d hoped) so welcome! Hang around and read some books and try to write with me!
you're amazing, trin! and i feel that rollercoaster/drafting graphic so hard lol
you are amazing--cannot wait for your next books!!